January 15: Happy Birthday Chloe! Chloe was very excited to FINALLY have a BD celebration! Since she's been with us, she has watched countless friends and family members open presents and eat cake. We knew she wanted three things on her birthday:
1. A new dress
2. A cake
3. A singing Belle doll
Well, Chloe did get all 3 of her wishes from a couple of genies. In addition she had her first pinata (Anna's idea). Since Grandpa was in the hospital with his broken ankle, Aunt Annie and Uncle Bob were up helping out. So we had lots of family around to celebrate. Pizza at grandma's followed by a Curious George Pull apart cake, presents and the Princess Castle pinata. Since we didn't want to stand in the snow, cousin Johnny held the pinata while the girls pulled the strings. Can you believe it- the pinata didn't open until the LAST string was pulled by Anna. They loved it. Uncle John bought her her favorite gift- 6 pairs of Princess dress-up shoes that go click-click-click endlessly as she stamps around the wood floors.
In addition, Chloe bought Elmo cake pops to school and had a little party at Karen's house with her babysitting friends.
If you ask her how old she is, you'll get a variety of answers....O-E-3 or O-E-5, O-E-2. .......
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
Luck
Today I took the girls to the mall and we stopped for one dollar frozen yogurt cone. As we were sitting on a bench eating our ice cream, Chloe in her usual friendly manner said "Hewwow" to a woman near us. The woman smiled and said to me "They're beautiful", then "You're very lucky". And for the first time in 9 months, I did feel lucky. I wasn't tired. The girls weren't fighting. I didn't feel overwhelmed. I wasn't stressed. And I felt lucky.
Saturday, December 25, 2010
SugarPlums
Oh to be five...or two and have Christmas on the brain! It's Christmas Eve and if Santa doesn't arrive soon,I believe that Anna may explode. Last night she actually said, I can't sleep..I have sugar plums in my head. We've had a great time this month making gingerbread houses, decorating the house with crafts made in school, going to Christmas parties,light shows and seeing Santa over and over. Of course we made dozens of cookies and the girls had so much fun decorating them. That kept us busy during the 6 days we were in the house with Chloe's sinus infection/bronchitis.
Chloe did amazingly well with the tree- we opted for a big one although we promised ourselves that we'd get a tabletop one. The girls loved seeing the box of ornaments and tried their best to hang them on the branches. They loved looking at lights on all of the houses, especially ours. Lee has gotten pretty good at hanging outdoor lights and now has a competitive edge. Anna has become very interested in people who don't celebrate Christmas and asks me lots of questions about Hanukkah and Kwanzaa. When we pass a house without Christmas lights, she says "Happy Hanukkah" or " Happy Kwanzaa. Too funny.
The countdown went on...we had an Advent calendar with chocolate, a mouse that moves towards number 24, a magnetic nativity on the fridge and even an email letter from Santa.
Yes, we are ready....and Santa is exhausted!
Chloe did amazingly well with the tree- we opted for a big one although we promised ourselves that we'd get a tabletop one. The girls loved seeing the box of ornaments and tried their best to hang them on the branches. They loved looking at lights on all of the houses, especially ours. Lee has gotten pretty good at hanging outdoor lights and now has a competitive edge. Anna has become very interested in people who don't celebrate Christmas and asks me lots of questions about Hanukkah and Kwanzaa. When we pass a house without Christmas lights, she says "Happy Hanukkah" or " Happy Kwanzaa. Too funny.
The countdown went on...we had an Advent calendar with chocolate, a mouse that moves towards number 24, a magnetic nativity on the fridge and even an email letter from Santa.
Yes, we are ready....and Santa is exhausted!
Friday, December 3, 2010
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
Saturday, October 23, 2010
If it’s Tuesday it must be Belgium or Seaford or Garden CIty or Plainview
Anna is in PreK 5 days/week, Chloe is in nursery 2 mornings/week, Anna has gymnastics 1 day/week and swimming 1 day/week, Chloe has PT 2x/week, speech 2x/week and a speech-language group 1/week. I work 3 afternoons a week and have a standing playdate 1x/week, and I’m back at the gym and I do lunch duty at Anna’s school occasionally. And Lee is at the Dr or PT on almost a daily basis. And sometimes I clean the house.
Dressing Chloe and Missing Bubba
Last week, my wonderful mom came over and watched Chloe while I stayed upstairs and changed the girls clothes over from summer to winter. It’s a chore but bought back such memories. Of course Chloe is wearing all of Anna’s “hand-me-downs”. So I remembered Anna wearing the tie-dye Princess shirt, the jeans with the pink ruffle on the legs, the black jeans with the studded heart. And guess who bought Anna these gorgeous clothes......Bubba. Oh how I miss her and wish she could have met Chloe. (Sidebar: Whenever I was frustrated about Lee and his illness, I would tell him that I wish Bubba was around because he could have used her encouraging words instead of my moodiness). Anyway I miss Bubba, the best MIL in the world but I think of her whenever I now dress Chloe in one of her cute outfits, courtesy of Bubba. Bubba got so much joy out of buying stylish clothes for Anna. Now Chloe gets to look cute too.
Isn't summer supposed to be lazy, hazy and crazy?
Well. well, well..it was a long, hard summer. After Chloe’s surgery in June, we had about 1 month of a tough recovery but then we were ready for summer. Lazy days at the beach, hanging at the pool, ice cream cones. I, miraculously was able to go to Las Vegas for 48 hours for an Okinawan reunion. What an unbelievable time I had catching up with great friends, eating in restaurants and going to the pool, without a noodle.
I arrived home on July 19 and Lee had MINOR, outpatient, knee surgery (torn meniscus) on July 20. He came home and we had some good times going blueberry picking, hanging at the beach in Massapequa and eating ice cream from the truck.
Then something went wrong.....long story short: Lee ended up with 5 trips to the ER (one by the wonderful Massapequa Fire Department), 2 long hospital stays and so far, 4 additional surgeries. He was diagnosed with a very serious staph infection and I became Nurse Kratchet (seriously I did resemble her), giving him IV antibiotics twice a day for 8 weeks. He moved into the computer room on the first floor and our lives became very different. Poor Lee was in tremendous pain for a good 2 months (now he is just in pain). The pain killers did not do much. Weekly trips to the orthopedist, the infectious disease doctor and daily visits to PT. It’s been tough on us: Lee was in pain, I was overworked and stressed and the kids surely felt the strain and missed having their daddy be a participant in their lives.
At this time, Lee is doing much better. The staph infection is gone, we are done with the IV’s and he can even drive and do an errand. He has lost strength and mobility in his leg and is now scheduled for another surgery on Nov 4 to break up scar tissue and for a manipulation (ewwww, the manipulation is self explanatory). Thank God this surgery will be at the NYU Hospital for Joint Surgery and hopefully will help with his recovery. We are also thankful that although this had made for a rough few months,it is something that is manageable and not life-threatening.
I arrived home on July 19 and Lee had MINOR, outpatient, knee surgery (torn meniscus) on July 20. He came home and we had some good times going blueberry picking, hanging at the beach in Massapequa and eating ice cream from the truck.
Then something went wrong.....long story short: Lee ended up with 5 trips to the ER (one by the wonderful Massapequa Fire Department), 2 long hospital stays and so far, 4 additional surgeries. He was diagnosed with a very serious staph infection and I became Nurse Kratchet (seriously I did resemble her), giving him IV antibiotics twice a day for 8 weeks. He moved into the computer room on the first floor and our lives became very different. Poor Lee was in tremendous pain for a good 2 months (now he is just in pain). The pain killers did not do much. Weekly trips to the orthopedist, the infectious disease doctor and daily visits to PT. It’s been tough on us: Lee was in pain, I was overworked and stressed and the kids surely felt the strain and missed having their daddy be a participant in their lives.
At this time, Lee is doing much better. The staph infection is gone, we are done with the IV’s and he can even drive and do an errand. He has lost strength and mobility in his leg and is now scheduled for another surgery on Nov 4 to break up scar tissue and for a manipulation (ewwww, the manipulation is self explanatory). Thank God this surgery will be at the NYU Hospital for Joint Surgery and hopefully will help with his recovery. We are also thankful that although this had made for a rough few months,it is something that is manageable and not life-threatening.
Monday, July 12, 2010
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Nine days post surgery
Physically, Chloe is doing so much better. We saw Dr Gallagher yesterday and she was pleased with the healing. Chloe had a very wide cleft and the Dr told us that the surgery was difficult. Let's hope it "works". Chloe is eating more varied foods- pierogies, ravioli, gnocchi, pastina and she can use a "soft" baby spoon. Thank God Dr Gallagher does not believe in the "no-nos", the arm restraints that some docs recommend so the kids will not put fingers or anything in their mouths. She said that one doctor even puts the kids arms in CASTS! I can't imagine how more miserable we all would be if Chloe had to wear "no-nos". She never put anything in her mouth- it would have hurt too much and she's smart enough to figure that out!.
She is still my mirror-image, my shadow, my BFF.
She is still my mirror-image, my shadow, my BFF.
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Healing at Home
We came home after two days in the hospital. I was so ready to leave and was using a syringe to get Chloe to drink water. Would you believe it that Anna got a stomach virus the day we were coming home? So Lee and my mom had to schlep her to the Dr to make sure it was Ok for Chloe to be near her. "Just keep them separated" the Dr's said. So Chloe slept in the West Wing and Anna stayed in the guest house.
So far so good.
It was cute to see how happy Chloe was to be home- she hugged Anna and ran around looking at all of the toys. But it's still rough. The food situation is tough. She is supposed to eat only soft foods like yogurt and pureed foods. I am supposed to feed her through a ziploc or with a big spoon so that no utensil touches her palate. She is so stubborn and Independent that she will not let me do that. So she is using a gigantic wok utensil to feed herself. She is drinking lots of Nutripals and yogurts. Poor thing loves to eat- can't wait to see the Dr so we can increase her choices.
Also Chloe won't leave mt side for 5 minutes. Did I mention that I'm a "need my space" kind of girl so, although I understand it, it's starting to drive me nuts. I am sleeping with her and Anna is sleeping with Lee. So I just got up to use the bathroom and in her sleep she "sensed" my absence and started screaming. Ok, ok, this too shall pass.
So far so good.
It was cute to see how happy Chloe was to be home- she hugged Anna and ran around looking at all of the toys. But it's still rough. The food situation is tough. She is supposed to eat only soft foods like yogurt and pureed foods. I am supposed to feed her through a ziploc or with a big spoon so that no utensil touches her palate. She is so stubborn and Independent that she will not let me do that. So she is using a gigantic wok utensil to feed herself. She is drinking lots of Nutripals and yogurts. Poor thing loves to eat- can't wait to see the Dr so we can increase her choices.
Also Chloe won't leave mt side for 5 minutes. Did I mention that I'm a "need my space" kind of girl so, although I understand it, it's starting to drive me nuts. I am sleeping with her and Anna is sleeping with Lee. So I just got up to use the bathroom and in her sleep she "sensed" my absence and started screaming. Ok, ok, this too shall pass.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
More Morphine Please! With a side of red wine!
Poor Chloe...this has been a tough two days. Feels like 12 days. We arrived at LIJ at 8:30 on Monday. In admitting, when they realized that Chloe was adopted they started whispering and then asked us for the adoption papers which I don't carry around with me. They told us we may have to go home and get the papers before surgery. I looked around at the other parents in the waiting room and asked in my most I'm going to shout discrimination voice, "Did all of these other parents have to provide their child's birth certificate?!" I wanted to say that Chloe really isn't adopted, I had an affair but Lee is raising her as his own. Didn't you see us on Maury? Well they didn't pursue it any further.
Then the surgeon was given the wrong time and showed up an hour and a half late.
Surgery lasted for 3 1/2 hours! Yikes. Things went well but Chloe's cleft was really big so time will tell. So far, recovery has been tough. Poor thing- she is just a mess. She's in a tremendous amount of pain and is so uncomfortable. She is getting morphine and Tylenol with codeine. She sleeps, wakes up, cries, sleeps, watches a DVD from her crib, sits in my lap. We couldn't get her to drink enough water today so we are here for another night. As much as I want to go home, Chloe really needs to be here another night. Her little face is swollen and even her eyes are swollen from all of the crying.
I took her for a walk in a stroller, dragging the IV. She liked checking everything out and is trying to come back to life. I told her "Wo a ni" which means "I love you". She usually tries to sign "I love you" but today all she could manage was raising one little finger. So cute. BUT even in all this pain, she is a FIGHTER and I mean that literally. It hurts for her to drink but I am getting tiny amounts in by using a syringe. She fights me tooth and nail. This kid is STRONG..I mean I am not a little petite thing and I struggle with her!!
Thank God for Lee for giving me breaks and getting me food. And for my mom who is taking good care of Anna...again. I hate having to leave Anna even if this time we are on the same island.
Thanks for the good thoughts and prayers....HOME TOMORROW, HOPEFULLY!
Then the surgeon was given the wrong time and showed up an hour and a half late.
Surgery lasted for 3 1/2 hours! Yikes. Things went well but Chloe's cleft was really big so time will tell. So far, recovery has been tough. Poor thing- she is just a mess. She's in a tremendous amount of pain and is so uncomfortable. She is getting morphine and Tylenol with codeine. She sleeps, wakes up, cries, sleeps, watches a DVD from her crib, sits in my lap. We couldn't get her to drink enough water today so we are here for another night. As much as I want to go home, Chloe really needs to be here another night. Her little face is swollen and even her eyes are swollen from all of the crying.
I took her for a walk in a stroller, dragging the IV. She liked checking everything out and is trying to come back to life. I told her "Wo a ni" which means "I love you". She usually tries to sign "I love you" but today all she could manage was raising one little finger. So cute. BUT even in all this pain, she is a FIGHTER and I mean that literally. It hurts for her to drink but I am getting tiny amounts in by using a syringe. She fights me tooth and nail. This kid is STRONG..I mean I am not a little petite thing and I struggle with her!!
Thank God for Lee for giving me breaks and getting me food. And for my mom who is taking good care of Anna...again. I hate having to leave Anna even if this time we are on the same island.
Thanks for the good thoughts and prayers....HOME TOMORROW, HOPEFULLY!
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Home for two months
Crabcakes or cupcakes
Well it can't be true but it is...we have been back home for two months! When I think about the first few weeks....well forget it, I'd rather not think about those first few weeks. I remember thinking "we'll never be able to have anyone over" Well so far, we've had playdates in the backyard and even a Memorial Day BBQ (Fran and Bob surprised us and crashed the party!) I was so happy to have sister Fran here to meet Chloe. Of course Chloe was charming. She really knows how to charm the visitors and save the evil for me! I told her the other day- Mommy doesn't want any crabcakes, only cupcakes. She didn't listen. Anyway we have all made remarkable changes and progress in these past two months.
Communicating
Chloe is understanding more English and vocalizes all the time. She tries so hard to imitate sounds and words. I think she probably uses 25-30 signs. Now she points to pictures in a book and signs "duck" or "cat" or whatever. She signs "water" when she is thirsty. Whenever I say something about Daddy she signs "daddy". She calls "Anna" all the time but still does not use a word for me or Lee. If you say where's mama, she will say mama and point to me but she will not call me intentionally.
Photos from the SWI (Social Welfare Institute or orphanage)
We had paid a service (redthread.com) to send a cake to Chloe for Chinese New Year, to have additional questions answered and to take photos of her in her previous home. It was very costly but we thought we wanted pictures for her to see when she was older and curious about her early life. Well the questions were never answered but on gotcha day the nanny did give us the roll of film. I've had it in my pocketbook for two months and last week I finally had it developed. The pictures really broke my heart. First of all it was January and everyone had on heavy coats and layers of clothes underneath meaning there was little heat in the dead of winter. I had seen pictures of the SWI but hoped things were better. The rooms were sparse, just some tables and a lot of cribs. No pictures on the walls, no toys to be seen...just nothing. What do these kids do all day? All of the employees looked happy and the kids seemed happy to be eating cake, including Chloe. But the saddest part was the older kids looking at Chloe eating her cake. What were these 9, 10, 11 year old children thinking? Why haven't I been picked? It just broke my heart and made me feel badly that I even sent the cake and had all of that attention on Chloe. But at least they were able to have a diversion in their day and all enjoy the beautiful cake. I did find out that one 5 year old boy in the photos is being adopted soon so I am trying to contact his parents to see if they want copies of the photos.
Mirror Image
When Anna is home, Chloe plays with her but checks on my whereabouts often. When it is just me and Chloe she follows...me....everywhere. It I step to the right, she steps to the right. If I walk from the refrigerator to the stove, she does too. Now I am the kind of person who needs my space so this is not my favorite behavior. Yes I understand where it's coming from but STILL. I. NEED. SOME. SPACE!!!!!!! I know.... at some point she'll be ignoring me in front of her friends. BTW we now have 5 baby gates to keep everyone safe. And I can lock the girls out of the kitchen when I cook dinner.
Surgery
On Monday Chloe goes into Schneiders Childrens Hospital for her palate surgery. She was supposed to have tubes put in at the same time but that was cancelled due to scheduling problems. So that will be another surgery in the near future but that is a quickie. We expect the palate surgery to be 2-4 hours:( I will stay with her at the hospital and Lee will come home to be with Anna and my mom. Thank God for my mom! From what I hear the recovery is rough. Very painful for the first week. Only soft foods (yogurt, pudding, etc) AND she cannot use a utensil. That will be the hardest part. Chloe is Miss Independent. Now I will have to feed her through a ziploc bag or drop the food in her mouth from a huge serving spoon. After a few days she can eat scrambled eggs and such with her hands. Also I hear that night terrors increase so we are are in for it because she has night terrors every night lately.
Please say a prayer.
Well it can't be true but it is...we have been back home for two months! When I think about the first few weeks....well forget it, I'd rather not think about those first few weeks. I remember thinking "we'll never be able to have anyone over" Well so far, we've had playdates in the backyard and even a Memorial Day BBQ (Fran and Bob surprised us and crashed the party!) I was so happy to have sister Fran here to meet Chloe. Of course Chloe was charming. She really knows how to charm the visitors and save the evil for me! I told her the other day- Mommy doesn't want any crabcakes, only cupcakes. She didn't listen. Anyway we have all made remarkable changes and progress in these past two months.
Communicating
Chloe is understanding more English and vocalizes all the time. She tries so hard to imitate sounds and words. I think she probably uses 25-30 signs. Now she points to pictures in a book and signs "duck" or "cat" or whatever. She signs "water" when she is thirsty. Whenever I say something about Daddy she signs "daddy". She calls "Anna" all the time but still does not use a word for me or Lee. If you say where's mama, she will say mama and point to me but she will not call me intentionally.
Photos from the SWI (Social Welfare Institute or orphanage)
We had paid a service (redthread.com) to send a cake to Chloe for Chinese New Year, to have additional questions answered and to take photos of her in her previous home. It was very costly but we thought we wanted pictures for her to see when she was older and curious about her early life. Well the questions were never answered but on gotcha day the nanny did give us the roll of film. I've had it in my pocketbook for two months and last week I finally had it developed. The pictures really broke my heart. First of all it was January and everyone had on heavy coats and layers of clothes underneath meaning there was little heat in the dead of winter. I had seen pictures of the SWI but hoped things were better. The rooms were sparse, just some tables and a lot of cribs. No pictures on the walls, no toys to be seen...just nothing. What do these kids do all day? All of the employees looked happy and the kids seemed happy to be eating cake, including Chloe. But the saddest part was the older kids looking at Chloe eating her cake. What were these 9, 10, 11 year old children thinking? Why haven't I been picked? It just broke my heart and made me feel badly that I even sent the cake and had all of that attention on Chloe. But at least they were able to have a diversion in their day and all enjoy the beautiful cake. I did find out that one 5 year old boy in the photos is being adopted soon so I am trying to contact his parents to see if they want copies of the photos.
Mirror Image
When Anna is home, Chloe plays with her but checks on my whereabouts often. When it is just me and Chloe she follows...me....everywhere. It I step to the right, she steps to the right. If I walk from the refrigerator to the stove, she does too. Now I am the kind of person who needs my space so this is not my favorite behavior. Yes I understand where it's coming from but STILL. I. NEED. SOME. SPACE!!!!!!! I know.... at some point she'll be ignoring me in front of her friends. BTW we now have 5 baby gates to keep everyone safe. And I can lock the girls out of the kitchen when I cook dinner.
Surgery
On Monday Chloe goes into Schneiders Childrens Hospital for her palate surgery. She was supposed to have tubes put in at the same time but that was cancelled due to scheduling problems. So that will be another surgery in the near future but that is a quickie. We expect the palate surgery to be 2-4 hours:( I will stay with her at the hospital and Lee will come home to be with Anna and my mom. Thank God for my mom! From what I hear the recovery is rough. Very painful for the first week. Only soft foods (yogurt, pudding, etc) AND she cannot use a utensil. That will be the hardest part. Chloe is Miss Independent. Now I will have to feed her through a ziploc bag or drop the food in her mouth from a huge serving spoon. After a few days she can eat scrambled eggs and such with her hands. Also I hear that night terrors increase so we are are in for it because she has night terrors every night lately.
Please say a prayer.
Saturday, May 8, 2010
Saturday, May 1, 2010
Home for 5 weeks!
We've been home for 5 weeks and I wanted to keep everyone updated on all that has been going on:
The last week in China:
The last week in GZ was tough. It was great because we were closer to home, we met some great people to have dinner with every night, we were able to do fun, touristy shopping, and the food was wonderful. But we were all adjusting to each other and there were many rough times. Chloe resisted the stroller and we were just plain tired of carrying her. We couldn't let her walk because there was so much construction in GZ. Eating in the restaurants was tough too- she resisted the high chair. We tried to give her a bath with some friends children- she totally freaked out. And there were many episodes of night terrors and tantrums. Each day closer to home seemed like an eternity.
And then it came: the travel day.
We woke at 5:00 AM, grabbed our last breakfast from the wonderful buffet and headed to the airport. We fought the crowds and flew for 2 1/2 hours from GZ to Shanghai. Miraculously, Chloe was OK on that flight. At this moment in time I can't even remember what we did but it was nonstop entertaining and eating and playing. Then we had a 4 hour layover in Shanghai....still we had a happy baby. We ate lunch (Burger King and Noodle Soup), looked at the shops and let Chloe push the stroller around for about 2 hours. The goal was to tire her out. So at this point we had been traveling for about 12 hours. So in Chloe's defense, she held it together for the first 12 hours. The next 12 hours were a living hell. Lee still shudders when I mention the plane ride or if I come across a sticker book or toy we used on the flight. One day I found a sticker that we used to try and entertain Chloe. I put it on Lee's dinner plate and when he saw it I though her would puke! Anyway it's all a blur now but it involved 13 hours and 9 minutes of utter chaos, including 2 hours of on and off tantrums/night terrors/grieving. I just sat and cried until the lovely angelic flight attendant handed me a Baileys on the rocks. She knew I needed a drink. She so sweetly told me that they see this all of the time. She was so nice as were most of the poor people unlucky enough to be sitting near us. Then we somehow landed in Newark....met my brother John and had an hour ride back to Long Island. Chloe panicked at the sight of the car seat so she slept in my lap for the ride home.
HOME!
When we pulled up to the house we saw such pretty decorations, balloons and banners welcoming us all home and congratulating Anna on being a big sister. The decorations were from the FCCLI- Families with Children from China (Long Island) It was so wonderful and comforting to be home, in our own house with our own food, our own TV, our own beds and our own cars. My mom and my sister Ann were there but I pushed them aside and gave Anna the most squishiest hug she's ever gotten. She looked so happy to see us- I didn't want to let her go. Thank God for my family who took such good care of her and put their own lives on hold while we traveled. Thank you Mom, Dad, Fran, Ann, Jill and John ! So, from that moment on all is a blur.
The First Weeks Home
We arrived home on Good Friday (April 2), jet lagged and overwhelmed. What did we do on that first day home? I think we actually went to Trader Joe's. I know there were some meltdowns from me, Chloe and Anna. So all the girls in the house were crying. Easter Sunday was a disaster. We had a little Easter Egg Hunt, napped and went to my moms for dinner. Chloe screamed every time we put her in the car seat. She couldn't sit at the table and eat. She was overwhelmed and threw things off of the coffee table. We went for a walk. I just remember being so completely exhausted and crying at the drop of a hat. And feeling guilty for leaving Anna for so long. My family told me she had a hard time the last week we were gone. My poor baby! That night we drove home from my mothers and Chloe was screaming in the car seat. Then she looked sleepy. But it was too early to sleep! We will rock you (Queen) came on the radio and we blasted it to drown out her crying and to keep her awake. Not in the Parenting 101 booklet but we were desperate. Well, she loved it and kicked her legs and clapped her hands. It is now one of our favorite songs to play in the car.
So on Monday Lee went back to work and I was left with Anna and Chloe. It was terrifying. What would we do? Couldn't go shopping- she hates the cart. Can't take a walk- she hates the stroller. Can't leave her alone for 1 second because she is scared and afraid of our two cats. I can't remember what we did. We were all still so jet lagged and exhausted.
I slowly took her in the sit and stand with Anna. I took her to a nice quiet CVS and walked around in the shopping cart with some M &M's. We went to a playground. We went for short trips in the car seat. We napped and all the girls slept in the same bed. Chloe has rejected the crib. Can't say that I blame her, having spent so much time in one. So Anna said "Chloe can sleep in my bed if she's scared" So she did and does. Thank Goodness we bought Anna a Full Sized bed.
Making Progress!!
Many BTDT people told me that things would slowly get better and they were right. Every day we all make some strides. Chloe now loves the car- i think the new Honda minivan helps- she loves to open and shut the window and check out the sights. She can handle shopping as long as she has food to munch on. She really enjoys walks in the stroller and looking at the flowers or cars or trees. She FINALLY has stopped crying in the bathtub! Sleep habits are unpredictable but most of the time she sleeps through the night, she naps and the night terrors are rare. Two year old tantrums are alive and kicking.
Chloe recognizes places like the parking lot of our Mommy and Me Class or Anna's School. Her face lights up when Lee comes home from work. She hugs Anna when she leaves for school. She follows me everywhere I go. She and Anna occasionally play together without fighting!
Chinese..or English...or Sign Language
Chloe had her speech-language evaluation. We all agreed that she appears to be dominant in sign language! I've been bombarding her with signs and find it hard to separate mommy from SLP. Chloe uses LOTS of signs, her recent favorite being the sign for "ice cream". She has about 10 true words in English and she tries to imitate everything. She can also follow directions in English...Go get your shoes, Find your diaper, etc. She's picking things up every day. Anna is becoming a mini-me SLP...prompting Chloe to say a word or use a sign. Too funny
Becoming a Family
I think every day we make gains and become more of a "family of four". It hasn't been so easy at times and we still have our good and bad days. I think Anna really enjoys having a sister. She loves wearing her Big Sis, Little Sis pajamas and having a live-in playmate. They are getting into alot of trouble together! Most of the time I am just plain exhausted. Thank God for Lee who comes home from work and jumps right in. And for my mom who helps whenever she can and has more patience than me. Chloe adores her. We are really getting into the groove together! Tomorrow is Mother's Day and I feel blessed.
The last week in China:
The last week in GZ was tough. It was great because we were closer to home, we met some great people to have dinner with every night, we were able to do fun, touristy shopping, and the food was wonderful. But we were all adjusting to each other and there were many rough times. Chloe resisted the stroller and we were just plain tired of carrying her. We couldn't let her walk because there was so much construction in GZ. Eating in the restaurants was tough too- she resisted the high chair. We tried to give her a bath with some friends children- she totally freaked out. And there were many episodes of night terrors and tantrums. Each day closer to home seemed like an eternity.
And then it came: the travel day.
We woke at 5:00 AM, grabbed our last breakfast from the wonderful buffet and headed to the airport. We fought the crowds and flew for 2 1/2 hours from GZ to Shanghai. Miraculously, Chloe was OK on that flight. At this moment in time I can't even remember what we did but it was nonstop entertaining and eating and playing. Then we had a 4 hour layover in Shanghai....still we had a happy baby. We ate lunch (Burger King and Noodle Soup), looked at the shops and let Chloe push the stroller around for about 2 hours. The goal was to tire her out. So at this point we had been traveling for about 12 hours. So in Chloe's defense, she held it together for the first 12 hours. The next 12 hours were a living hell. Lee still shudders when I mention the plane ride or if I come across a sticker book or toy we used on the flight. One day I found a sticker that we used to try and entertain Chloe. I put it on Lee's dinner plate and when he saw it I though her would puke! Anyway it's all a blur now but it involved 13 hours and 9 minutes of utter chaos, including 2 hours of on and off tantrums/night terrors/grieving. I just sat and cried until the lovely angelic flight attendant handed me a Baileys on the rocks. She knew I needed a drink. She so sweetly told me that they see this all of the time. She was so nice as were most of the poor people unlucky enough to be sitting near us. Then we somehow landed in Newark....met my brother John and had an hour ride back to Long Island. Chloe panicked at the sight of the car seat so she slept in my lap for the ride home.
HOME!
When we pulled up to the house we saw such pretty decorations, balloons and banners welcoming us all home and congratulating Anna on being a big sister. The decorations were from the FCCLI- Families with Children from China (Long Island) It was so wonderful and comforting to be home, in our own house with our own food, our own TV, our own beds and our own cars. My mom and my sister Ann were there but I pushed them aside and gave Anna the most squishiest hug she's ever gotten. She looked so happy to see us- I didn't want to let her go. Thank God for my family who took such good care of her and put their own lives on hold while we traveled. Thank you Mom, Dad, Fran, Ann, Jill and John ! So, from that moment on all is a blur.
The First Weeks Home
We arrived home on Good Friday (April 2), jet lagged and overwhelmed. What did we do on that first day home? I think we actually went to Trader Joe's. I know there were some meltdowns from me, Chloe and Anna. So all the girls in the house were crying. Easter Sunday was a disaster. We had a little Easter Egg Hunt, napped and went to my moms for dinner. Chloe screamed every time we put her in the car seat. She couldn't sit at the table and eat. She was overwhelmed and threw things off of the coffee table. We went for a walk. I just remember being so completely exhausted and crying at the drop of a hat. And feeling guilty for leaving Anna for so long. My family told me she had a hard time the last week we were gone. My poor baby! That night we drove home from my mothers and Chloe was screaming in the car seat. Then she looked sleepy. But it was too early to sleep! We will rock you (Queen) came on the radio and we blasted it to drown out her crying and to keep her awake. Not in the Parenting 101 booklet but we were desperate. Well, she loved it and kicked her legs and clapped her hands. It is now one of our favorite songs to play in the car.
So on Monday Lee went back to work and I was left with Anna and Chloe. It was terrifying. What would we do? Couldn't go shopping- she hates the cart. Can't take a walk- she hates the stroller. Can't leave her alone for 1 second because she is scared and afraid of our two cats. I can't remember what we did. We were all still so jet lagged and exhausted.
I slowly took her in the sit and stand with Anna. I took her to a nice quiet CVS and walked around in the shopping cart with some M &M's. We went to a playground. We went for short trips in the car seat. We napped and all the girls slept in the same bed. Chloe has rejected the crib. Can't say that I blame her, having spent so much time in one. So Anna said "Chloe can sleep in my bed if she's scared" So she did and does. Thank Goodness we bought Anna a Full Sized bed.
Making Progress!!
Many BTDT people told me that things would slowly get better and they were right. Every day we all make some strides. Chloe now loves the car- i think the new Honda minivan helps- she loves to open and shut the window and check out the sights. She can handle shopping as long as she has food to munch on. She really enjoys walks in the stroller and looking at the flowers or cars or trees. She FINALLY has stopped crying in the bathtub! Sleep habits are unpredictable but most of the time she sleeps through the night, she naps and the night terrors are rare. Two year old tantrums are alive and kicking.
Chloe recognizes places like the parking lot of our Mommy and Me Class or Anna's School. Her face lights up when Lee comes home from work. She hugs Anna when she leaves for school. She follows me everywhere I go. She and Anna occasionally play together without fighting!
Chinese..or English...or Sign Language
Chloe had her speech-language evaluation. We all agreed that she appears to be dominant in sign language! I've been bombarding her with signs and find it hard to separate mommy from SLP. Chloe uses LOTS of signs, her recent favorite being the sign for "ice cream". She has about 10 true words in English and she tries to imitate everything. She can also follow directions in English...Go get your shoes, Find your diaper, etc. She's picking things up every day. Anna is becoming a mini-me SLP...prompting Chloe to say a word or use a sign. Too funny
Becoming a Family
I think every day we make gains and become more of a "family of four". It hasn't been so easy at times and we still have our good and bad days. I think Anna really enjoys having a sister. She loves wearing her Big Sis, Little Sis pajamas and having a live-in playmate. They are getting into alot of trouble together! Most of the time I am just plain exhausted. Thank God for Lee who comes home from work and jumps right in. And for my mom who helps whenever she can and has more patience than me. Chloe adores her. We are really getting into the groove together! Tomorrow is Mother's Day and I feel blessed.
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Saturday, March 27, 2010
Good Days, Bad Days and only 5 more Days
I'll start with 5 days...only 5 more days and we'll be home. I mean, China is great and all but.....it's time to go home. You wanna appreciate your modest house with no basement and 1 bathroom, go live in hotels for 17 days. We are really ready to move on. This trip would have been great if it was cut by about 9 days......
So, on to Bad Days. Friday was our last day in Chongqing. So on Thursday night we took a walk into the city square and brought Chloe to McDonalds. THe cashier was appalled when we ordered 2 large fries with our meal. Then she gave us 2 ketchup packets.
Shei, shei but can I have 5 ketchups?
FIVE she laughed? Yes we Americans like to smother our fat with sugar , thank you very much. Chloe absolutely loved the french fries and the ketchup. She saw me dipping and pointed to it until I gave her her own.
So Friday we set out to the Chongqing Zoo with our guide and the NYC family. We drove there in the van, no problem. The zoo was quite nice and a wonderful distraction from the hotel rooms and the city. THe sun surprised us and we saw some greenery. The pandas were adorable. They say they have black circles because they don't get enough sleep. My new nickname. Then we piled into the van to head back to the hotel and get ready to fly to. We are in the car for a few minutes and Chloe starts to freak- for no reason. A full out, arching the back tantrum of sorts with crying and removing of shoes. Hmmm, not fun. We saw two more of these episodes this day, including one on the 1 1/2 hour flight from Chongqing to Guangzhao. Yes, in a plane, screaming. Yea, I know what you're thinking- you are thinking that next Friday we have to fly from Guangzhao to Shanghai (2 1/2 hours), then sit in an airport for 3 hours then fly from Shanghai to Newark for 14 hours. I know what else you're thinking- Thank God it's not you sitting on that plane. I can't even think about it, I get sick to my stomach.
So that was the bad day. I actually called the woman from our adoption agency. Seems the honeymoon is over and our little girl is overstimulated. Very typical for these guys. They have been living in a a very controlled, calm environment with very little stimulation. Now they are thrown into the world with 5,000,000 new things to see, touch, smell, taste and do and they go into overload. So I got some good suggestions and today we turned it down about 10 notches. She had such a better day- time to play in the hotel room, quiet music, nice long nap. Oh and BTW, today was Lee's birthday. Happy Birthday Lee
Guangzhou, The White Swan and Nirvana
We are now in the city of Guangzhou. We have many appointments here- medical center for a checkup, paperwork for Chloe's visa, etc. So everyday there is a little something to do, then our own downtime.
Being here is like heaven.
1. It is the last leg of the trip and we are that much closer to home...YEAH! You all know I miss my Anna.
2.Guangzhao is a not a big, crowded city like Chongqing. The big city was hard with Chloe- too noisy, too crowded and just too overstimulating for her...and me. Here we can walk to a restaurant or a shop with no problem. There is a 7-11 and a Starbucks, which I must find soon...for another taste of home. The weather is nice. A slight glimpse of sun and warm temperatures.
- The White Swan Hotel is beautiful. All of the other hotels were fine but this one really caters to foreigners. The breakfast buffet is awesome. There are shops and waterfalls and room service and ATM machines and a play room for the kids. All adoptive roads lead to Guangzhou so the place is teeming with adoptive parents from all over but especially America. You've never seen such friendly Americans. We all make eye contact and chat because we are dying to talk to someone besides our spouse. (It's like the King of Queens episode when Doug and Carrie got to HomeDepot to meet people) It's also comforting to swap stories and get advice from other BTDT families. Lat night we were out walking looking for a restaurant. There is a place called Lucy's with American food. We met a couple there from Ohio. It was so nice to eat with other people, share a beer and chat. The kids were great too and then we walked around a town "square". Nice and quiet and it wiped out our Chloe. She's a good sleeper.
- Poor Lee has hurt his shoulder/neck. The beds are firm and today I found him sleeping in the chair, then the floor. We hired a guide to take us for some touristy shopping but maybe she can find some relief for Lee. Too may suitcases plus Chloe won't stay in the stroller. Oh, that's another thing- the shops in town will loan you a stroller! They know you'll come back and buy something, which we did so it's worth it-we use it carry the diaper bag and my pocketbook!
- One more thing- check out the photo of the Barbie Doll! How cute is that? The White Swan gives everyone an Adoption Barbie Doll! Look at the bottom - it says "This is not a toy" "For ages 14 and over"
Thursday, March 25, 2010
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)