Physically, Chloe is doing so much better. We saw Dr Gallagher yesterday and she was pleased with the healing. Chloe had a very wide cleft and the Dr told us that the surgery was difficult. Let's hope it "works". Chloe is eating more varied foods- pierogies, ravioli, gnocchi, pastina and she can use a "soft" baby spoon. Thank God Dr Gallagher does not believe in the "no-nos", the arm restraints that some docs recommend so the kids will not put fingers or anything in their mouths. She said that one doctor even puts the kids arms in CASTS! I can't imagine how more miserable we all would be if Chloe had to wear "no-nos". She never put anything in her mouth- it would have hurt too much and she's smart enough to figure that out!.
She is still my mirror-image, my shadow, my BFF.
Wednesday, June 16, 2010
Saturday, June 12, 2010
Healing at Home
We came home after two days in the hospital. I was so ready to leave and was using a syringe to get Chloe to drink water. Would you believe it that Anna got a stomach virus the day we were coming home? So Lee and my mom had to schlep her to the Dr to make sure it was Ok for Chloe to be near her. "Just keep them separated" the Dr's said. So Chloe slept in the West Wing and Anna stayed in the guest house.
So far so good.
It was cute to see how happy Chloe was to be home- she hugged Anna and ran around looking at all of the toys. But it's still rough. The food situation is tough. She is supposed to eat only soft foods like yogurt and pureed foods. I am supposed to feed her through a ziploc or with a big spoon so that no utensil touches her palate. She is so stubborn and Independent that she will not let me do that. So she is using a gigantic wok utensil to feed herself. She is drinking lots of Nutripals and yogurts. Poor thing loves to eat- can't wait to see the Dr so we can increase her choices.
Also Chloe won't leave mt side for 5 minutes. Did I mention that I'm a "need my space" kind of girl so, although I understand it, it's starting to drive me nuts. I am sleeping with her and Anna is sleeping with Lee. So I just got up to use the bathroom and in her sleep she "sensed" my absence and started screaming. Ok, ok, this too shall pass.
So far so good.
It was cute to see how happy Chloe was to be home- she hugged Anna and ran around looking at all of the toys. But it's still rough. The food situation is tough. She is supposed to eat only soft foods like yogurt and pureed foods. I am supposed to feed her through a ziploc or with a big spoon so that no utensil touches her palate. She is so stubborn and Independent that she will not let me do that. So she is using a gigantic wok utensil to feed herself. She is drinking lots of Nutripals and yogurts. Poor thing loves to eat- can't wait to see the Dr so we can increase her choices.
Also Chloe won't leave mt side for 5 minutes. Did I mention that I'm a "need my space" kind of girl so, although I understand it, it's starting to drive me nuts. I am sleeping with her and Anna is sleeping with Lee. So I just got up to use the bathroom and in her sleep she "sensed" my absence and started screaming. Ok, ok, this too shall pass.
Tuesday, June 8, 2010
More Morphine Please! With a side of red wine!
Poor Chloe...this has been a tough two days. Feels like 12 days. We arrived at LIJ at 8:30 on Monday. In admitting, when they realized that Chloe was adopted they started whispering and then asked us for the adoption papers which I don't carry around with me. They told us we may have to go home and get the papers before surgery. I looked around at the other parents in the waiting room and asked in my most I'm going to shout discrimination voice, "Did all of these other parents have to provide their child's birth certificate?!" I wanted to say that Chloe really isn't adopted, I had an affair but Lee is raising her as his own. Didn't you see us on Maury? Well they didn't pursue it any further.
Then the surgeon was given the wrong time and showed up an hour and a half late.
Surgery lasted for 3 1/2 hours! Yikes. Things went well but Chloe's cleft was really big so time will tell. So far, recovery has been tough. Poor thing- she is just a mess. She's in a tremendous amount of pain and is so uncomfortable. She is getting morphine and Tylenol with codeine. She sleeps, wakes up, cries, sleeps, watches a DVD from her crib, sits in my lap. We couldn't get her to drink enough water today so we are here for another night. As much as I want to go home, Chloe really needs to be here another night. Her little face is swollen and even her eyes are swollen from all of the crying.
I took her for a walk in a stroller, dragging the IV. She liked checking everything out and is trying to come back to life. I told her "Wo a ni" which means "I love you". She usually tries to sign "I love you" but today all she could manage was raising one little finger. So cute. BUT even in all this pain, she is a FIGHTER and I mean that literally. It hurts for her to drink but I am getting tiny amounts in by using a syringe. She fights me tooth and nail. This kid is STRONG..I mean I am not a little petite thing and I struggle with her!!
Thank God for Lee for giving me breaks and getting me food. And for my mom who is taking good care of Anna...again. I hate having to leave Anna even if this time we are on the same island.
Thanks for the good thoughts and prayers....HOME TOMORROW, HOPEFULLY!
Then the surgeon was given the wrong time and showed up an hour and a half late.
Surgery lasted for 3 1/2 hours! Yikes. Things went well but Chloe's cleft was really big so time will tell. So far, recovery has been tough. Poor thing- she is just a mess. She's in a tremendous amount of pain and is so uncomfortable. She is getting morphine and Tylenol with codeine. She sleeps, wakes up, cries, sleeps, watches a DVD from her crib, sits in my lap. We couldn't get her to drink enough water today so we are here for another night. As much as I want to go home, Chloe really needs to be here another night. Her little face is swollen and even her eyes are swollen from all of the crying.
I took her for a walk in a stroller, dragging the IV. She liked checking everything out and is trying to come back to life. I told her "Wo a ni" which means "I love you". She usually tries to sign "I love you" but today all she could manage was raising one little finger. So cute. BUT even in all this pain, she is a FIGHTER and I mean that literally. It hurts for her to drink but I am getting tiny amounts in by using a syringe. She fights me tooth and nail. This kid is STRONG..I mean I am not a little petite thing and I struggle with her!!
Thank God for Lee for giving me breaks and getting me food. And for my mom who is taking good care of Anna...again. I hate having to leave Anna even if this time we are on the same island.
Thanks for the good thoughts and prayers....HOME TOMORROW, HOPEFULLY!
Thursday, June 3, 2010
Home for two months
Crabcakes or cupcakes
Well it can't be true but it is...we have been back home for two months! When I think about the first few weeks....well forget it, I'd rather not think about those first few weeks. I remember thinking "we'll never be able to have anyone over" Well so far, we've had playdates in the backyard and even a Memorial Day BBQ (Fran and Bob surprised us and crashed the party!) I was so happy to have sister Fran here to meet Chloe. Of course Chloe was charming. She really knows how to charm the visitors and save the evil for me! I told her the other day- Mommy doesn't want any crabcakes, only cupcakes. She didn't listen. Anyway we have all made remarkable changes and progress in these past two months.
Communicating
Chloe is understanding more English and vocalizes all the time. She tries so hard to imitate sounds and words. I think she probably uses 25-30 signs. Now she points to pictures in a book and signs "duck" or "cat" or whatever. She signs "water" when she is thirsty. Whenever I say something about Daddy she signs "daddy". She calls "Anna" all the time but still does not use a word for me or Lee. If you say where's mama, she will say mama and point to me but she will not call me intentionally.
Photos from the SWI (Social Welfare Institute or orphanage)
We had paid a service (redthread.com) to send a cake to Chloe for Chinese New Year, to have additional questions answered and to take photos of her in her previous home. It was very costly but we thought we wanted pictures for her to see when she was older and curious about her early life. Well the questions were never answered but on gotcha day the nanny did give us the roll of film. I've had it in my pocketbook for two months and last week I finally had it developed. The pictures really broke my heart. First of all it was January and everyone had on heavy coats and layers of clothes underneath meaning there was little heat in the dead of winter. I had seen pictures of the SWI but hoped things were better. The rooms were sparse, just some tables and a lot of cribs. No pictures on the walls, no toys to be seen...just nothing. What do these kids do all day? All of the employees looked happy and the kids seemed happy to be eating cake, including Chloe. But the saddest part was the older kids looking at Chloe eating her cake. What were these 9, 10, 11 year old children thinking? Why haven't I been picked? It just broke my heart and made me feel badly that I even sent the cake and had all of that attention on Chloe. But at least they were able to have a diversion in their day and all enjoy the beautiful cake. I did find out that one 5 year old boy in the photos is being adopted soon so I am trying to contact his parents to see if they want copies of the photos.
Mirror Image
When Anna is home, Chloe plays with her but checks on my whereabouts often. When it is just me and Chloe she follows...me....everywhere. It I step to the right, she steps to the right. If I walk from the refrigerator to the stove, she does too. Now I am the kind of person who needs my space so this is not my favorite behavior. Yes I understand where it's coming from but STILL. I. NEED. SOME. SPACE!!!!!!! I know.... at some point she'll be ignoring me in front of her friends. BTW we now have 5 baby gates to keep everyone safe. And I can lock the girls out of the kitchen when I cook dinner.
Surgery
On Monday Chloe goes into Schneiders Childrens Hospital for her palate surgery. She was supposed to have tubes put in at the same time but that was cancelled due to scheduling problems. So that will be another surgery in the near future but that is a quickie. We expect the palate surgery to be 2-4 hours:( I will stay with her at the hospital and Lee will come home to be with Anna and my mom. Thank God for my mom! From what I hear the recovery is rough. Very painful for the first week. Only soft foods (yogurt, pudding, etc) AND she cannot use a utensil. That will be the hardest part. Chloe is Miss Independent. Now I will have to feed her through a ziploc bag or drop the food in her mouth from a huge serving spoon. After a few days she can eat scrambled eggs and such with her hands. Also I hear that night terrors increase so we are are in for it because she has night terrors every night lately.
Please say a prayer.
Well it can't be true but it is...we have been back home for two months! When I think about the first few weeks....well forget it, I'd rather not think about those first few weeks. I remember thinking "we'll never be able to have anyone over" Well so far, we've had playdates in the backyard and even a Memorial Day BBQ (Fran and Bob surprised us and crashed the party!) I was so happy to have sister Fran here to meet Chloe. Of course Chloe was charming. She really knows how to charm the visitors and save the evil for me! I told her the other day- Mommy doesn't want any crabcakes, only cupcakes. She didn't listen. Anyway we have all made remarkable changes and progress in these past two months.
Communicating
Chloe is understanding more English and vocalizes all the time. She tries so hard to imitate sounds and words. I think she probably uses 25-30 signs. Now she points to pictures in a book and signs "duck" or "cat" or whatever. She signs "water" when she is thirsty. Whenever I say something about Daddy she signs "daddy". She calls "Anna" all the time but still does not use a word for me or Lee. If you say where's mama, she will say mama and point to me but she will not call me intentionally.
Photos from the SWI (Social Welfare Institute or orphanage)
We had paid a service (redthread.com) to send a cake to Chloe for Chinese New Year, to have additional questions answered and to take photos of her in her previous home. It was very costly but we thought we wanted pictures for her to see when she was older and curious about her early life. Well the questions were never answered but on gotcha day the nanny did give us the roll of film. I've had it in my pocketbook for two months and last week I finally had it developed. The pictures really broke my heart. First of all it was January and everyone had on heavy coats and layers of clothes underneath meaning there was little heat in the dead of winter. I had seen pictures of the SWI but hoped things were better. The rooms were sparse, just some tables and a lot of cribs. No pictures on the walls, no toys to be seen...just nothing. What do these kids do all day? All of the employees looked happy and the kids seemed happy to be eating cake, including Chloe. But the saddest part was the older kids looking at Chloe eating her cake. What were these 9, 10, 11 year old children thinking? Why haven't I been picked? It just broke my heart and made me feel badly that I even sent the cake and had all of that attention on Chloe. But at least they were able to have a diversion in their day and all enjoy the beautiful cake. I did find out that one 5 year old boy in the photos is being adopted soon so I am trying to contact his parents to see if they want copies of the photos.
Mirror Image
When Anna is home, Chloe plays with her but checks on my whereabouts often. When it is just me and Chloe she follows...me....everywhere. It I step to the right, she steps to the right. If I walk from the refrigerator to the stove, she does too. Now I am the kind of person who needs my space so this is not my favorite behavior. Yes I understand where it's coming from but STILL. I. NEED. SOME. SPACE!!!!!!! I know.... at some point she'll be ignoring me in front of her friends. BTW we now have 5 baby gates to keep everyone safe. And I can lock the girls out of the kitchen when I cook dinner.
Surgery
On Monday Chloe goes into Schneiders Childrens Hospital for her palate surgery. She was supposed to have tubes put in at the same time but that was cancelled due to scheduling problems. So that will be another surgery in the near future but that is a quickie. We expect the palate surgery to be 2-4 hours:( I will stay with her at the hospital and Lee will come home to be with Anna and my mom. Thank God for my mom! From what I hear the recovery is rough. Very painful for the first week. Only soft foods (yogurt, pudding, etc) AND she cannot use a utensil. That will be the hardest part. Chloe is Miss Independent. Now I will have to feed her through a ziploc bag or drop the food in her mouth from a huge serving spoon. After a few days she can eat scrambled eggs and such with her hands. Also I hear that night terrors increase so we are are in for it because she has night terrors every night lately.
Please say a prayer.
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